So what IS a Lettuce Burger?

It's never a dull moment in the Windley household!

Once upon a time....
traveling home from someone's sporting event, the Windley's (well I'mnot too sure if Ryan was there) got McPukes for dinner. Now I don't remember what Ryan and Kyle would order, (or mom for that matter), but Bobby would get the McNugget kids meal, and I the cheeseburger kid meal. Then there's the infamous order of dad,--THE BIG MAC MEAL! Well, so there you have it, a Lettuce Burger is a Big Mac. .....did you really think I would stop there?

Now picture this; mom sets up dad's food by opening the BigMac box, to dump the fries in the top of the lid so that he can still drive and eat at the same time.

[Editors note: this occurred a lonnnng time ago, before driving and doing anything else was frowned upon].

Now have you ever tried to eat a BigMac with just one hand? It's nearly impossible! You NEED two hands! But not my dad; he was great at everything...right?! lol So as us kids chow down our food in a matter of minutes, we would look up to see dad still struggling with his.

"Oh for Fuck sakes!" grumble* grumble*
"This fucking thing just shit all over me. Fucking Lettuce Burger! That's all it is! A bunch of fucking LETTUCE! that I paid $5 for" ---and proceeds to throw it out of the moving vehicle.

[editors note2: I do not condone throwing food/garbage out of your window. And
Sorry to anyone who's windshield may have met a LB----j/k it was down some non-busy back-road ]

Now, this wasn't just a one-handed toss; it was a 'take hands off the wheel', hands under each half of the box, and across the chest in a sweeping movement, out the window toss, re-correct the car.

Laughter Ensues*
If you are not laughing, you suck. Us kids thought it was absolutely hysterical!
I (nor my family) will ever forget this. Not only because it was hilarious, but also because I remember it happening on at least one other occasion.
The thing is: Dad hated that we would have to resort to fastfood, especially McPukes, back in the day with all of use kids playing sports (or many sports). It wasn't just the nutrition issue, but the MONEY issue. Think about it, you go to fastfood joints and get a meal for $5, okay, well now it's like $8, and you think of exactly what you got for that amount of money.
And in the words of my dad, "Instead of spending over $40 on McD's, I could have made a nice Steak dinner for that. Such garbage!"

So, on his birthday, we "don't celebrate the birthday of dead people" (in the words of dad), we instead enjoy a disgusting Lettuce-Burrrrgerrrr, and remember how much of a great Dad he was, and how freaking hilarious he was. --thankfully our whole family has benefited from this and have acquired his humour.THANKS!

And if you've red this far --YOU'RE AWESOME! go treat yourself with a LB lol